Just when I thought it wouldn’t be possible to view FIFA any more negatively than I already do, I see this headline. Only way it gets worse from here is if they find a way for Nestle to participate in this circlejerk.
TIL FIFA gives out “participation trophies”.
This is worse than a participation trophy it’s a buthurt trophy
Ah yes the highly coveted FIFA Peace Prize
Not to be confused with the discredited and obscure Nobel Peace Prize awarded by some randos in Norway who nobody cares about
How fucking stupid does a guy have to be to view this as anything other than an embarrassing gift.
Hey Trump, here’s your “you didn’t actually win a Nobel peace prize” reminder. We made it gold so you can put it on your shelf of gaudy schlock and always be reminded you are an imbecile.
It has to be lobbying of some sort. Has to be.
Now that you say that I’m kinda on FIFA’s side, that’s hilarious
The only defense I could give to FIFA here is that likely someone there took into account whether the orange idiot would take it this way, only to quickly dismiss it given the mounds of evidence that he wouldn’t see beyond the moment of flattery. Doesn’t not make them garbage as well - rather just collectively capable of some awareness. Unlike Trump…
It’s not a departure from its traditional focus on bribery
Well, it’s diversifying into asslicking.
People seems to forget that football is the secondary focus of the head of FIFA. Corruption is the name of the game for him.
Bet you Trump threatened to cancel the World Cup hosting in the US unless they gave him something. It’s essentially impossible to reschedule an event that large this close to the start.
One of the most corrupt businesses giving an award to the most corrupt president, seems on brand and correct for this timeline.
I’m just happy that we finally have world peace
lol wow, just leaning further into the whole “FIFA is run by absolute fucking psychos” narrative I guess…
More sociopathic, I think. They know what they want and know how to manipulate others to get it.
Maybe they can name me as math genius of the year, too? It would be just about as meaningful.
Honored guests, distinguished academics, and champions of knowledge, This evening marks a defining moment in the history of intellectual achievement. The FIFA Math Genius Award stands as one of the highest honors our community can bestow — a recognition reserved for those whose intellect not only grasps the laws of logic but elevates them to an art form. In that noble tradition, we gather to celebrate Bwaz whose accomplishment has re‑defined precision itself. Through dedication, persistence, and sheer cognitive brilliance, Bwaz has successfully solved the equation 2 + 2 = 4 — and done so correctly in more than half of his attempts. What might seem simple to the untrained mind reveals, under closer scrutiny, the hallmark of genius: a mastery of fundamentals so pure that it borders on perfection. Every correct computation represents not just a number, but a triumph of disciplined reasoning and mental clarity. In an age when truth can be obscured by complexity, this achievement reminds us of the beauty of certainty — of how a single true answer can illuminate the very essence of understanding. The committee, therefore, recognizes our laureate Bwaz not only as a mathematician, but as a visionary. His work stands as proof that even the simplest truths can demand the highest intellect to honor them properly. It is with great pride and profound respect that we present the FIFA Math Genius Award to a mind whose excellence will forever inspire future generations of thinkers and dreamers alike. Thank you.
FIFA and Trump are a match made in hell. Who would‘ve guessed? Oh right. Everyone did.
Suckin’ that micro dick.
Honestly, I don’t even really blame the companies that do this kind of shit. They know that Trump is a simple, easily bought “man” that likes shiny gold things, and that giving him one benefits them. Like Tim Apple giving him the gold plaque. And in the big picture it’s a lot less embarrassing than having your name be Tim Apple for the rest of your life because a felon rapist said so.
I’m not exaggerating when I say I honestly don’t remember what his real name is. It’s just Tim Apple now.
“How did you get your name?”
“A rapist gave it to me.”
There is no way SouthPark doesn’t use this, it’s almost too perfect.
today’s not The Onion article
Hey look, a participation trophy
At this point, I’m amazed he hasn’t simply had Obama’s award confiscated
Or claimed it was signed with an autopen, or the wrong colored ink.
FIFA officially now stands for Fawning Incompetent Feckless Assholes.
Hey, that’s not true. The acronym is French, so it actually stands for Fédération Incompétente et Faible d’Ânes.
