I can’t imagine what that is like, but I am very grateful for you sharing. I have only ever had a couple of surgeries and knowing the pain would end was what I was grasping at the entire time.
I am wondering if I ever meet a person suffering with chronic pain, what can I do to help them?
Supporting them through their treatment is definitely a good idea. Being compassionate is a good idea on the surface, but I am not sure if I would be even capable of doing that when I have no idea what it is really like. Is it about understanding their suffering and accepting that their actions are effected by it?
When I try to think of things to say to them, I think of what I say to people who are suffering like “I hope you feel better.” and it just sounds insensitive.
One of the lessons from the chronic pain clinic at Mayo Hospital I learned was how to get friends and family to interact with you as a chronic pain sufferer.
A lot of what we were focusing on while in the chronic pain program was to prevent ourselves from classical conditioning ourselves with pain behaviors. Preventing that signaling can also be useful for friends and family. Paradoxically, the most empathetic thing you can do is to not acknowledge pain but to focus in on progress, process, and future plans.
You can both make it clear you wish to help, and that you don’t wish to treat them like the sum of their symptoms instead of a person.
It will vary in nuance for every person, which is why you sit down and talk to them about what is the best way ahownup for them. Unfortunately many patients have not had the 3 weeks of 8 hour days in the hospital getting the best possible cognitive behavioral therapy for chronic pain that I did, and what they ask for may be maladaptive.
It’s so difficult to be both your own advocate and temper natural desires with what NEEDS to be done. I would say almost impossible to navigate without professional help. If someone is going through that chronic pain, the best thing would be to gently guide them to professional resources for it. After that, the patient can more reliably give adaptive advocacy for themselves.
I can’t imagine what that is like, but I am very grateful for you sharing. I have only ever had a couple of surgeries and knowing the pain would end was what I was grasping at the entire time.
I am wondering if I ever meet a person suffering with chronic pain, what can I do to help them? Supporting them through their treatment is definitely a good idea. Being compassionate is a good idea on the surface, but I am not sure if I would be even capable of doing that when I have no idea what it is really like. Is it about understanding their suffering and accepting that their actions are effected by it?
When I try to think of things to say to them, I think of what I say to people who are suffering like “I hope you feel better.” and it just sounds insensitive.
One of the lessons from the chronic pain clinic at Mayo Hospital I learned was how to get friends and family to interact with you as a chronic pain sufferer.
A lot of what we were focusing on while in the chronic pain program was to prevent ourselves from classical conditioning ourselves with pain behaviors. Preventing that signaling can also be useful for friends and family. Paradoxically, the most empathetic thing you can do is to not acknowledge pain but to focus in on progress, process, and future plans.
You can both make it clear you wish to help, and that you don’t wish to treat them like the sum of their symptoms instead of a person.
It will vary in nuance for every person, which is why you sit down and talk to them about what is the best way ahownup for them. Unfortunately many patients have not had the 3 weeks of 8 hour days in the hospital getting the best possible cognitive behavioral therapy for chronic pain that I did, and what they ask for may be maladaptive.
It’s so difficult to be both your own advocate and temper natural desires with what NEEDS to be done. I would say almost impossible to navigate without professional help. If someone is going through that chronic pain, the best thing would be to gently guide them to professional resources for it. After that, the patient can more reliably give adaptive advocacy for themselves.
I try to say things like, “I know I don’t understand your pain but I wish you peace and know that your efforts are not wasted.”