I’m 27 and for almost half of my life I’ve been living in various big cities. I’ve been observing a rising level of social anxiety in me and I was attributing it to just simply getting older and less socially active due to decreasing number of regular contacts.
I also had that presumption that everyone has their own active goals and so I would do my best to compress each social interaction as much as humanly possible to avoid taking too much time from that person.
Now I finally returned to village life and the so much slower everyday pace is just getting into my head. You’re just rambling around, greeting people passing you by, some will want to interact with you, after some time you initialize the interactions yourself. You’re just taking things slow, enjoying being a part of this community.
And it translates to the usual conversations too. I feel like I’m becoming so much more talkative. Smalltalk is no longer a chore, but rather a nice and refreshing activity.
Make sure you read this to yourself later if you move back to the city.
I lived in the city and moved into the country side when I was 40. I’m never going back. I’m a volunteer firefighter, I know someone who can do something in every trade, I can see my neighbors but I don’t have to because land is cheap and the fence is far away. People need each other occasionally and let each other be.
I feel that the whole aversion against village life is stronger in people that want to consume the lifestyle without contributing. Easy said, one needs to have something one can contribute. I build the weirdest problem solving shit with embedded controllers and lora, I help wire new things into our firetruck, I calculate photovoltaics for people, so that’s easy for me to say. I’ve found a niche where a nerd can fit into the village ecosystem, I’m not going back.
That, honestly, sounds sublime.
I’ve noticed the same thing with my anxiety.
100% true. The fast pace is of no good to anyone. I moved to the countryside after a cerebal bleeding caused me much troubles with all impulses one gets throughout the day. I can’t even begin to describe the difference it has made in litteraly every aspect of my life. There is always tomorrow. (If not, you won’t be there to notice it)
To each their own. I hate living outside a city.
I’m happy that you enjoy it, but “no good to anyone” is just wrong. 😅
no good to anyone
That’s about the fast pace life not about living outside a city. I know many don’t understand how we can live here, and that’s fine. As you said: to each their own.
But … Slow down. Enjoy the moment. The fast pace, the ratrace … It doesn’t bring anyone any good
Who that’s pretty cool. Hope this has a long term impact that lasts you past the village life. Congrats!
Interesting! I’m guessing this is very culturally bound. For instance, where I live “village” life isn’t much of an option because everyone just gets in their cars immediately between destinations; relative to that, cities are more social than that.
I think the strength of cities is having a large group of people, from which you are likely to be able to find more people who share your interests. I’ve been looking for places to play an open mic that isn’t boomers playing acoustic rock, and it’s pretty tough. I found one place nearby, but it’s mostly young LGBTQ and they are as cliquey af. Any other portential place is at least a 45 minute drive.
I think one thing that is univeral is that people in higher population areas aren’t as initially friendly with everyone… maybe because it’s too easy to get scammed and theres too many dang people, so there’s not much point in chatting up someone you’ll likely never see again.
