15+ years in engineering here. 10+ in leadership.

Code formatting hasn’t been an issue since the early '10s. Tabs or spaces? Who cares. Your editor can make it look like whatever you want and it won’t effect the code.

As for other asshole-ish behavior or gatekeeping, I open it up to a vote. Let the team determine best practices. Don’t like what your team decides? Find another team to shitlord over.

If your team is only focused on tabs/spaces or soapboxing during code reviews, you have bigger issues to take care of.

Spreading knowledge and context sharing are exactly why I like code reviews. It should also be something done by more than one person so that information is better disseminated throughout the team.

I find most bad codebases exist because of a culture that isn’t focused on quality, and I’m not talking about bug counts or code coverage. Clean codebases stay clean by being proactive about keeping them clean. This should include meticulous peer reviews, establishing design patterns, enforcing best practices, and taking initiative to leave things better than you found them (we used to call that boy scouting).

If your teams PR comments only contain LGTM, and the average time spent reviewing them is 5 minutes, your team isn’t focused on quality. If a PR contains more files than an average person can keep in their mental context window, it won’t get the attention it needs to be properly reviewed. If there is no accountability to keep a clean codebase, you’ll end up with 2 hours of work taking 5 days to complete.

I have been been actively interviewing for software engineering leadership roles. A few years ago, the process would have involved submitting a resume, maybe a technical round, a chat with the CTO, and a vibe-check with another employee. It has now become a gauntlet of 5+ STAR format behavioral rounds, presentations, take home tests, systems design whiteboard sessions, and the beloved technical review where you share your screen and someone watches you fumble through some stupid leetcode challenge.

I have been finding it difficult to control my anxiety as I progress through each round of interviews. The steaks are higher after each round to make it to the next.

It sucks getting rejected after round 3-4+ rounds. Sometimes I won’t hear back at all, other times I might get the canned rejection email from the ATS. I take feedback and criticism very personally, which makes personalized rejections even more painful.

I wish I didn’t love software engineering so much. I wish I had another skill to fall back to that made as much money.

How do you all deal with the social, executive, and operational rigors of finding jobs and interviewing?

My team of engineers and I were laid off on January 2, after spending a year replatforming a medical SaaS product. We were told the company was heading in another direction in order to to go to market faster.

That direction is the Product Designer and Claude Code, rebuilding everything from scratch.

Some CalDav servers also do notes. As others have noted, Joplin has a self-hosted option. If you’re willing to go with a service, Obsidian is .md based and multiplatform.

The ol’ Hug of Death has brought the site to a crawl. Dark Lord willing, someone will produce a torrent and link to said torrent.

Your partner went through all of the gestation and labor herself; the least you can do is be the person who changes the diapers.

Men don’t always immediately bond with their newborn progeny. It’s ok, don’t feel guilty if you’re not head-over-heels in love with your baby for the first year or two.

If you’re ever feeling frustrated caring for your newborn, take a break. They will be fine if you leave them crying in their crib so that you can take a walk or do whatever you need to decompress and compose yourself.

Most pacifiers have bottle nipple mates. If your baby prefers one specific bottle or pacifier, buy the mate.

Most importantly, sleep deprivation and stress can cause significant mental health issues, specifically anxiety and depression. Your feelings are valid. If you’re having a hard time, ask for help.

This is me. I have made some very expensive fuck-ups at work and lost my job several times because of my forgetfulness or missing details. Thankfully I’m medicated now, but the fear and anxiety is still deeply ingrained in me. I am the livelihood of my family. I pay our bills, the mortgage, car payments and insurance. Any mistake could mean my family and I will need to start hunting for the nicest bridge to live under.