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good! 🙂

that’s good. they should vet any new mods on their own spaces pretty thoroughly though. the chuds on reddit played a very long game to get to the point where they can do that they do now

I don’t know how studied fediverse mods are on how the right infiltrated reddit moderation but I really hope you guys know. and that moderator actions are visible to eachother

they would befriend them ala Red Scare podcast out of spite

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That’s kind of a component of the problem though: everybody thinks that they’re parenting good and you may be able to teach them other things but usually you can’t tell them how to raise their children. There’s, just like a cognitive resistance to that. Some sort of cultural narcissism about the very act of parenting.

I don’t think anyone thinks you shouldn’t avoid abusers. Everyone’s already doing our best. If it was something that can be done on an individual level or simply being raised right, they wouldn’t be a problem. You should read into the concept of “whisper networks” though. They’re a flawed tool but they’re sadly the most effective systemic solution for some women to avoid predatory men. They kind of fail outside of that specific dynamic though

I worry your final sentiment there is a trap. We men are dying because we’re trying to navigate this alone. We need to be there for another and teach another how to break this problem which is cyclical. Yes, the system is built to turn us into monsters but I got out. Women in my life taught me to divest myself of power even though they were themselves victimized. And if you’re on this comm then you’re obviously looking for a way out of that cycle too. I haven’t looked at your profile but I assume you’ve reached out to guide other men along a gentler path at least once in your life.

Oh! Glad to hear it. I fall for sealioning a lot so I was afraid I did it again.

It sounds like the people in your life had good upbringing and social support. I suppose for perspective I grew up in a place where that’s uncommon. I’m glad people are safe to be themselves around you.

Picking a good partner is a huge thing but there are factors that effect that. Like children who are abused or neglected will be vulnerable to abusers when they’re older. Also abusers are proficient at hiding themselves until they have a potential victim in a vulnerable position. I suppose the reason there’s such a strong outcry to change our culture here is because it has made ideal conditions for men to become abusers to women and to each other without recourse. The ones who do get punished are ones that just failed their stealth check to misuse power within what our culture considers acceptable.

I don’t know, don’t really need a number personally. I know I grew up with bad male figures and I know women who had bad male figures including my mother and aunts.

If you made me guess I’d say 90% just based on the number of women who have disclosed to me something fucked up happening to them. Don’t think you can verify that number though because people don’t exactly report their families. None that I know did.

Are you actually interested in any of this? It’s strongly tied to men’s liberation but I get the feeling you might be coming at this from a “which gender is worse” angle.

Not really, can’t choose your family. And your ability to relocate jobs, community, or even out of relationships can be restricted by income.

And trying to change our culture is often met with reactionary backlash. I don’t know if you’ve looked into Edward Bernays but the state of gender relations started bad here by default and was made institutionally disastrous by our government. It actually is baked in to our culture just to be shitty to women and others who don’t meet specific ideals.

Enough to create the culture is all it takes. Being here I would hope that you understand we do this to each other too

Men in America have for decades

Was propoganda a factor there?

How did zoomer boys reach their uggo boomer stage in life before I did? All they had to do was hold out until I started balding

So glad to hear that! Wishing him courage and gentleness as he grows 💪

A huge part of beginning work with a therapist is learning emotional vocabulary because many people are just made ignorant of what our emotions even are. That thing you feel when something bad happens to somebody you don’t like? There’s two or three different words for that but you can’t be expected to handle it healthily if you don’t even know what it is.

That’s an extreme example but there’s also a whole bunch of different kinds of sad that some cultures (looking at you America) just refuse to acknowledge because being sad isn’t being a hard worker and that’s bad for the economy ☹️

Anywho, emotional vocabulary. Important stuff. They make worksheets and tools to help you explore words. I highly recommend for everyone but especially for men because they keep us stupid on purpose.

Rizz em with the tism

YEAH BABY BACK TO THE DESERT 20 MORE YEARS SAY IT WITH ME 20 MORE YEARS IN HURKADURKISTAN FOR FREEDOM THEY HATE US BECAUSE OF OUR FREEDOM 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇮🇱🇺🇲🇺🇲

Good idea. They took their site to a dumpster fire and blocked us all from the API, they don’t get to have any value I might have accidentally contributed

Womp womp :(