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Cake day: February 12th, 2024

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  • During one of the tests I took during my autism diagnosis, I had to look at a particular pattern for a few seconds, and the doctor would then flip the page and I’d need to identify the correct image among between four to seven very similar images (progresses from four to five to six to seven). If I were to choose the correct image, she’d turn the page to the next image I’d need to memorize. If I were to get one wrong, I’d get a second try on it. If I guessed incorrectly again, the test would end.

    The doctor told me not to worry if we don’t get all the way through the book of images, that no one ever gets that far. Well…I did get that far. I made a mistake on one image toward the end of the book among seven images total, but I got it correct on the second try. I had narrowed it down to those two before I chose incorrectly.

    Every correct answer after about halfway through the book was making the doctor make faces showing she was kind of in awe. After the last one, she said “Welp…I guess that’s how that test ends!” It was that test, I think, which contributed to their determination that my cognitive processing speed is in the 99.9th percentile. The diagosing doctor said she never seen a score as high as mine.

    And that was honestly a good thing for me to learn about myself; I’ve always felt like my brain goes waaay to fast. I speak well before thinking, I act pretty much on instinct, and that has led to me queering more than one relationship in my life. It will be an extremely useful thing to have in post-apocalyptic times, I’m sure, but I have to force myself to slow down these days.



  • Samesies with talking with other people. At age 39, after realizing I ticked all the boxes, I told my coworkers I thought I might be autistic; they looked at each other and then at me with confused looks on their faces. “You mean you didn’t already know?!” I was like what, you did??? Then told my mom I thought I might be, and she said “…yeah…your dad and I always wondered if you might be.” (!) Finally got diagnosed lasτ summer, and it is honestly a relief knowing for sure that I am not just plain awkward, that there is actually a reason behind it.


  • …and people think I’m smart.

    This make people think I’m stupid.

    My brain

    Edit: I hope this doesn’t come across as me making fun. Everyone’s autism is different, and I regret yours comes with memory, visualization, and thought processing difficulties. You had just mentioned having only recently realized the meaning behind cartoon thought bubbles, and that was the thought bubble coming out of my head when reading your post. 😊

    I wish I could help, but my autism doesn’t come with those particular problems. Have you receive an ASD diagnosis? Read any books on various function coping methods for autistic people?



  • To add: If your brand of autism comes with echolalia and mimicry, then you are probably like me in that you have pulled funny facial expressions and manners of speech from other people and popular media throughout your life. And if, like me, you happen to have had low self-worth throughout your life as a side effect of the social awkwardness that autism yields, then you might use your echolalia and mimicry to your advantage by being “the funny one”.

    It’s a mask, to be sure, but it’s had it’s advantages. I’m in my mid-40s now, and multiple people have told me I’m the funniest person they’ve ever met. I’ve long felt like I’d kill it as a stand-up, but my hyperfixations haven’t yet led me in that direction.


  • It’s almost all clichés and stereotypes. Autistic people are the model disabled person in media the same way Asian people are the model minority. Autistic characters are almost exclusively difficult for neurotypical characters to connect with, they have some sort of “super power” (Sheldon Cooper and Quantum Physics, Shaun Murphy and the human body, Raymond Babbitt and counting cards, Gary Bell and wavelengths…), often having difficulty with eye contact, and usually with physical, visual, or auditory sensitivities.