a lumpen creature trying their best between constant crises
i can relate to this. i can hear the electricity coursing thru the walls. lately it’s been so loud that it keeps me up at night. no one else hears it, but i do.
i had to flip the breaker to the bedroom to quiet it down enough to sleep.
but the things i want to do for myself aren’t economically viable.
and, no, ‘i work because i want to eat’ (or to X, or other CBT mind tricks) don’t work either — coercion doesn’t work on me, even when i want it to.
i was very lucky that my introduction to software engineering came from a mentor who cared intensely about their work. but i dropped out of the IT industry after i never met someone like that again.
i never even went to secondary, but across several jobs i was having to teach my colleagues (compsci degrees) basic computer literacy skills. the moment they had to leave their IDE, they were lost. they had not even a basic understanding of version control systems. zero curiosity. they frequently broke their git repos and couldn’t fix it. they didn’t give a single fuck about the theory of what they were doing for 72 hours a week; what they were voluntarily choosing to do for 72 hours a week on 30 hour contracts. they hardly even cared about the practise.
LLMs completely ruined these people. they started using it for everything: responding to Slack messages, writing emails, writing code, doing code review… and when it was found out at my last company that i was the only one stubbornly refusing to use LLMs for anything, i was put on a fucking PIP and told it was company policy to use ‘labour saving technology.’ despite the fact that my code had the fewest defects, ignoring how frequently i was misled into doing something i wasn’t even supposed to do because the fucking task requirements were ALSO WRITTEN WITH AN LLM [THAT MADE SHIT UP]. but it was my fault for ‘not checking first’ (???).
i will never touch a computer for money ever fucking again.
aside: reading this while listening to clipping. was an experience