Eochaid

I did.

My wife dropped Reddit but never adopted Lemmy, despite my attempts lol.

Honestly, I couldn’t quite simpatize with her. She complains they were giving her too much to do?

Unless you fully understand the effort involved in her reported daily and weekly quotas, you aren’t qualified to make an opinion on them. But what might make more sense to you is that LTT currently has a full team dedicated to what she was expected to do by herself.

The biggest issue for me was her reports of a toxic work environment. When she would bring up concerns about her workload, they’d respond by insulting her and threatening her job. She even saw an instance where a coworker felt she was sexually harassed and Linus yelled at and berated her for being an idiot.

My guess is that Linus is the owner and works like one, and wants everyone else to work as much as him.

This is exactly the kind of boss that creates a toxic work environment. A good boss should be respectful of each employee’s strengths and limitations and foster an environment where everyone can contribute meaningfully without feeling unduely overburdened.

A good boss encourages a healthy work/life balance.

Yes, Linus is a workaholic. His work ethic is unhealthy. He has publicly acknowledged this on WAN show numerous times. If he expects his employees to work as hard as he does, then he is knowingly fostering an unhealthy work environment.

This video confirms what I’ve thought for a long time. The biggest problem with Linus Tech Tips is Linus.

And the fact that the video even declares that it took Yvonne to put her foot down before any changes could take place confirms that LTT has a cult of personality that is damaging the brand and the team. And keeping Linus as a CVO isn’t going to change that.

And of course, Madison’s accusations bring a whole new layer to the drama. A layer that should have been more obvious to me given that the only woman on that video was Linus’ wife.

Also, anyone else find it funny that Gary Key made yet another mistake in this video - that Linus was the one that talked about testing every video - and not Gary’s own fucking team member? Also his little “I dont agree with EVERY criticism” was a bit too petulant and defensive for this video. Come on…

Friend. Compatriot. Denizen of the internet. Thank you for reaching out, for telling me your story. But yours is an example of one of the many attitudes in men that frustrate me to no end and keep us all lonely.

You are not lonely because of your problems. Instead, you’re allowing your problems to excuse your lonliness.

Listen to yourself, “folks like me are just destined to be forever alone”. No you’re not. If everyone who said that on the internet decided to get together, we’d have conventions that rival comic con. It’s not impossible, you can overcome it, and you deserve to have a social life.

I get it. It’s hard. I’ve been there. I am also an introvert that suffers from social anxiety disorder. It takes a monumental effort and a lot of mental gymnastics for me to put myself in social situations. But I force myself into uncomfortable situations because I know it is good for me.

So enough berating you. What do you do?

In regards to finding a partner, my best advice is to work on yourself first. Women typically don’t care that much about physical appearance but they also don’t want to dive into a depressive spiral. A codependent man is an unattractive man. Work on the things you don’t like about yourself. And once you are happier and a little more sure of yourself, love will come naturally.

My best advice is to get a therapist. I’m fucking serious. Because when you are working on yourself, no matter how mentally healthy you are, you will get yourself in ruts that block any progress. And a therapist has the tools to get you out of it. But also because you can tell them your goal (have a social life) and your blocks (introvert, etc.) and then they can help you craft a plan. They’re like a personal trainer for your brain.

“A therapist is expensive” - not necessarily. Talk to your primary care doctor. Tell them you’d like to talk to a therapist. They will give you a referral and your insurance will cover part of it, guaranteed. If it’s still too expensive, use a service like Betterhelp. They’re not perfect, but it’s better than nothing. Regardless, get a THERAPIST not a psychologist. A psychologist can prescribe drugs and you don’t need that until your therapist suggests it.

But most men won’t take that advice no matter what I say. So the only other advice I can offer is to do the work. Look for local events or get togethers in your area. Look for sub to Lemmy / Reddit groups dedicated to your town or area. Look for Discord groups local to your region. Look for book clubs or crafting groups. And look beyond your typical interests. You never know, you might find a new hobby and new friends.

Then, go to events / get togethers. Force yourself to talk to people. Be uncomfortable. Truly. It’ll suck at first but people will respond if you engage - remember that people are there because they want to meet people. Awkwardness is totally okay.

Regardless, every time you’re tempted to say “folks like me are destined to be forever alone” replace that with “I have decided to be forever alone.” Come on man, you can do it. I believe you can. You deserve a social life.

As a married cis man moving towards his 40s, I can only confirm from my perspective that the male-to-male friendship experience seems broken.

First of all, in college I learned about the performative nature of gender and that gave me the tools I needed to push back against social pressure. I wear what’s comfortable, I try to be considate towards others, I talk about emotions, and I do what sounds fun without a care about whether it makes me “feminine” or “gay”. I feel that pushing against gender performance expectations has made me a better and fulfilled person.

But male-male friendships are still really hard, and I don’t get it. I’ve lost all of mine, for various reasons. Some of us got busy with careers, families, or whatever other reason. I’ve reached out now, multiple times, over the last few years, to old male friends and coworkers that I worked with for 5+ years.

The conversation starts with a list of accomplishments. I congratulate them, so glad they’re doing well. We’re both pretty happy in careers too.

I ask how they’re doing, what do they do for fun, you still with that same girl? Fine. Same old. Uh huh.

I suggest that maybe we should do something sometime. Play disc golf. Play some games. Hang out. Meet somewhere. Bring your kids if you want, I’d love to meet them…and at this point they get distant and eventually ghost me.

After a few instances of this, I started to wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Maybe they didn’t like me. Maybe I said something wrong. But there was one other instance. A woman I worked with for like 9 months. I called her once to ask for a job reference. And we ended up talking for an hour about our lives, our SOs, life goals etc. Before I could ask, she ended up suggesting that hang out and bring our SOs.

The only male friends I have right now are the male SOs of female friends or my wife’s girl friends.

Some of the most fulfilling friend groups we’ve had since were groups with LGBT and NB folks. And I think that’s because, even though gender performance is absolutely an important thing in these groups, there’s less pressure for us, a cis couple, to “perform” in a certain way. Our conversations are more real and liberated. It’s less anxious and competitive. But at the same time, those friendships eventually end because I don’t they can really connect with us - like, we’re still outsiders and so there’s a bit of a block. I understand, but it sucks.

Because we try to connect with cis men, or even couples, in our area, we either get standoffishness or competitions. Like, we’re getting evaluated for our performance of gender / society / life expectations. My wife and I have careers, no kids, and we’re fine, but we’re also trying to explore who we are outside that. And new cis friendships at our age seems to be less about connecting and doing fun things and more about bragging about accomplishments or complaining about the lack of them over coffee.

And its so hard to find any cis men that are just fucking chill and maybe tired of all the anxiety and social pressure around masculinity and just willing to be a person rather than a “man”.

This part offers some more interesting insight to his character. Yet another insecure c-suite lashing out at anyone who criticizes him.

The letter, jointly written by three members of the class of 2023 and published on the school newspaper’s website in May, was reported Friday by New York Magazine as part of a story on unrest within Goldman Sachs over Solomon’s management style.

Solomon oversaw record results for Goldman Sachs in 2021, and the stock is up more than 50% since he took over almost five years ago. But he’s faced elements of revolt from the firm’s powerful cadre of partners over issues tied to the business, such as the costly consumer-banking flop, and some specific to Solomon himself — complaining about his brusque management style and his use of the corporate jet for leisure.

A growing list of senior departures has also drawn attention, with some executives departing soon after taking new posts, and some top women exiting amid criticism about the firm’s culture. The tally includes executives Solomon has elevated, like Julian Salisbury, who left last month for Sixth Street Partners.

Let me make this clear.

I don’t give a FLYING FUCK about Elon. I actively ignore any posts about him or his shitty empire. Stop using the behaviors of his idiot stans to argue with me. I am not them.

What I do care about is a community telling people what they can or cannot post, not through rules changes, not through mod action, but by agreeing internally to bully every person who dares to post what every tech publication is talking about.

I think you need to evaluate why you let this shit trigger you. I mean, this is like going to a coffee shop and raising a stink because they sell pumpkin spice lattes. Don’t consume it. Use Lemmy’s tools to filter it out if you really need to.

Its not the community’s job to cater to your specific content desires. This isn’t a news site. Its a place for people to talk about whatever they think technology is. It’s your job to moderate what you pay attention to.

…but that’s what happens when you call a community “technology”. Its a pretty damn broad category and these days, incredibly mainstream.

Communities like " technology" are going to be as mainstream as they were on Reddit. There is nothing you can do about it unless you convince the mods to spend 14 hours a day curating and removing posts from people with mainstream definitions.

If you want a more curated definition, or you have more niche interests, then you probably want to go to a different community. Heck, maybe start your own. Be the change you want to see.

It seems a bit silly to go to a community called “technology” and then complain that it represents what 90% of technology news sources are talking about.

What defines “real piece of shit?”

What defines “nuts”

There are plenty of people who would call Lemmy a “real piece of shit” and all of us “nuts”.

Friendo…

That’s how language works. Language evolves and adapts over time via social pressure. Nobody uses words exactly as they are defined in the Oxford English Dictionary. Words are given meaning by people and inevitably those meanings shift and change as people use them in new and different ways.

Just because you adopted pedantry in order to push out topics you hate hearing about doesn’t mean everyone else has to adopt your constructed definitions.

I’ve tried so many and I’m always on the hunt for better ones. I wss on Pallabre until it went abandonware. Currently on inoreader but still hunting.

Problem is that I want something that can easily sync my feed and subscriptions across devices, but the ones that support that compromise in other areas. I might need to just settle for good import/export functionality. But Inoreader works for me for now.

But the nice thing is there are a ton of RSS apps out there. So, theres bound to be something for everyone.

Go to any tech site, publication, podcast YouTuber, etc. All of them are talking about Twitter. Mainstream tech has agreed that Twitter / Facebook are tech.

Im not saying I agree. I’m not saying even that I care about these topics. I don’t. I think Musk is an idiot and actively avoid news about his BS. But clearly a lot of people do care and a lot of people agree that Twitter is tech.

If this community wants to specify a definition of tech that differs from the mainstream, then they need to put it in the rules and accept that we need to control the acceptable conversation because certain members of the community are getting triggered by having to scroll past posts related to Musk or his properties.

That’s an even bigger contentious debate. And the fact that there is no one mutually agreed on answer means we either need a formal definition in the rules or the people in this community need to understand that there are people that exist with a broader or narrower definition of technology than they have.

That said, like it or not, go to any major tech blog, podcast, YouTuber, and they all talking about X / Twitter. The tech communities outside of Lemmy have all agreed that Twitter / X is technology. And Lemmy doesn’t live in a bubble.

I get that this is a contentious topic and I agree that Musk gets too much coverage, but…I strongly believe that people should be able to post whatever they want as long as it adheres to the community’s topic (technology) and adheres to the rules.

The arguement of, “I don’t wanna see {topic here} so stop posting about {topic here}” is a really slippery slope. Clearly there are quiet users here that DO actually want to hear about X news and DO want to dicuss it. What about topics that appeal to you, or like 20% of the community, but 80% couldn’t give a shit? Where is the line?

Realistically, this is on you. You don’t like it? Downvote and scroll past it. Want a perfectly curated source of news you care about? Use an RSS reader that offers topic filters. This is a community of diverse interests that may not always reflect yours. Deal with it, or go elsewhere.

We…

Sorry, that password is already in use

BIG red flag. Abort. Abort.

Also I love when they only support certain special characters. So the psuedo random noise created by my password generator won’t work until I curate out the unsupported characters.