What part of “George Thorogood concert” do you not understand? This wasn’t a shitter in the middle of nowhere. Locking the door is a lot more effective than trying to be louder than I Drink Alone. Yeah, you know when I shit alone I prefer to be by myself.

How many miles of feces? Are we talking to the scale of as long as the Panama canal, the length of New York, around the equator, or to the moon (and back)?

I was at a George Thorogood concert and opened the door on a woman taking a shit in a portapotty. There were no lines so I just walked up and picked door number 2.

What I’m saying is I do care a little bit who’s in there.

I think I’d like to have the full alphabet instead.

That reminds me I’ve gotta change the authenticator for my luggage

If they’re looking for leaks they should check the pants of the orange man in charge.

I trust the shit coming out of my ass to do good for the world a whole lot more than the shit coming out of his mouth

You forgot “Pigboy” in the thread title, OP.

he uses big knock-off Sharpie markers that are undoubtedly made in China with his name on them. It is not the same power move as Kevin O’Leary, AKA Mr. Wonderful, who is regularly seen waving around expensive fountain pens on his show.

A nice fountain pen feels good to hold and use. Thought goes into shaping the letters and picking out ink is a lot of fun. The same just can’t be said about a cheap gaudy marker, especially when it’s user has pants and a head full of shit.

Anyway the point I’m trying to make is the guys who designed Alcatraz probably didn’t sign their names and important documents with Sharpies. The guy trying to bring it back is approximately 2 degrees away from smearing shit with his finger on paper for all I care.

The only reason I’d be caught driving a tesla is if it had a completely true bumper sticker that said “I bought it after he blew his brains out.”

Is Joe Schmoe going to have to answer for his shitbox that just plowed through a school zone with an unusual number of speed bumps? Joe hasn’t even met his vehicle yet and it’s gonna be out there committing crimes potentially under his name.

He will forever be coming for bad boys with unknown motives and wants in my book.

Y’know, the thing about him, he’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes.

It is weird that he probably saw Danny DeVito rolling back the odometers in Matilda while in a K hole and misconstrued the whole situation. That scene of Danny with the drill taking thousands of miles off an old beater probably seemed like a jackpot idea in that drug addled mind of his.