The lettuce is from Taylor Farms… T-Bell uses it but the story is getting spun to blame T-Bell instead of the “root cause” here.

The Trump Dumps

Sure… because after spending $365 a ticket and another $85 in online “convenience fees”, I want to go stand around in the concourse for areas of watching the game.

Not OP, but the joke is fixable - when death asks the cat IF they have any lives left - and if so, how many - the cat says “nein”.

Still awkward, but at least grammatically correct!